Saturday, August 20, 2005

Stupid is as Stupid can be!

Have you been in a situation where you are expected to assume a different personality or character? Were you ever caught between work and personal life? Or perhaps lose respect in yourself because of a stupid decision? Well, it's not the most wonderful thing in the world.

This is what I get for changing careers. I've ever been so happy and content with Retail Management (more than 12 years), since I'm working with people who are 8 or more years younger than I am, makes one see a different perspective in life. I've become their 'mother image' or a 'big sister', where the've given their trust and where their own decisions would also rely on whatever opinion or advice I give them. I can always be seen smiling, laughing... They in turn had given me an alternative home-- well, I am not exactly in a perfect and successful marital bliss.

Major decisions. Yes. I've changed careers. A bit on the advantageous side. More time for myself. I get to learn more. But did I really? The realities and pressures of THE real work place has taken a toll on me. I've been in retail heaven for the longest time, surrounded with people, busy with everything, etc... well, I miss those times.

I am to blame. I lost a dear friend because of stupidity. Because of pressures at work? Or because I don't have anything else to do? Simple. Just because I was thinking about my selfish self and what I was expected to do. I had forgotten that I've got other people to answer to. How can I be so insensitive? Miserable? Yes , very. Moving on? Well, trying to. But can't. I won't be able to find anyone like the friend I just lost. My fault.

Guess that's life.. and a big, big lesson for me. Wherever you are now, my friend, I want you to know that you'll be always in my heart. I sincerely am sorry. You've made me come out of my shell and smell the roses. I never thought that I would trust anyone again.... but I wasn't thinking. I tainted a good relationship. I know you won't forget, but at least forgive me.

You take care and I love you always.

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