Monday, February 19, 2007

Andee and those footprints

Rushed Andee to the hospital this evening. She was vomiting for 2 days now (apparently because of coughing) and has gotten weak. Now that she's home asleep, I would have wondered if I should've had her admitted to the hospital. The attending doctor at the emergency room placed her on nebulizer and she seemed better. Will be taking her early tomorrow to her pediatrician again. Sob.... Though it's true mama is always there with me but then again, iba e. I get soooo emotional in situations like this, mag-isa nanaman ako. Maybe I'll get used to it-- hiding the the fear of 'being alone' in cases like this. Like what happened when Diego was rushed to the ER because of a cut. Oo nga.. be strong for them, and yet I still tremble inside. I try to find strength and pray. But I still hoped that there was a warm hand on my shoulder.
As a child I remember how good it feels to see both mama and papa with me whenever I was confined at the hospital -- mama with her touch and embrace and papa with his manner of being there as if saying " don't worry, I'll always be here..nothing bad will happen...". I was never ever so close with my father and even before he died there really wasn't any opportunity that we even had a chance to 'bond'. Unlike Andee...
She was close to her dad. If she's not feeling well she'll choose to cuddle up with her dad instead of her lola. (I'm really not first on her list). Sometimes I wonder what's going on inside her mind. I'd just see Andee staring into space.. lalim ng iniisip. I know she misses him but what can I do? -------------------------------------
Before I got to the computer to post write this entry. Mama and I were having coffee at the terrace when Andee got up. In a few hours magne-nebulizer nanama siya. Mama offered to take Andee to my room and accompany her muna while I put away our cups. Inside the living room, we noticed footprints coming from the kitchen crossing the sala and stopped at the door. Nothing unusual coz sometimes this happens. But what is extra-ordinary about it, is that the strides are longer. The footprints were small and thin, as if it were Diego's, but the strides are longer than mine. Whose footprints are these?!!? I took a picture and I'll be posting it here as soon as I send it to my email. ---------------------------------------
Post updated 03/04/07: after 100 years, here is the picture. There are around 5 'strides ' from the kitchen through the living room and stops at the front door.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

that's so scary =/